Sonia*, a 25-year-old master’s student, sums it up like this: “I feel that because I have other aspects of my life in place—from work to finishing my master’s to training for a marathon—this aspect is something I should also take steps toward achieving.
It’s the rest of my life, so why wouldn’t I want a say in it?
Since most pools of friends are no longer in the habit of matchmaking (a lost art), many singles from all backgrounds are left with stories of many, many awkward coffee meetings.
Instead of going the traditional route, they are taking the search into their own hands while respecting their parents’ beliefs and wishes.
“We are conducting the entire process of finding someone with a tick-box mentality. “We have become overly specific on ensuring an individual has X, Y or Z or earns a certain amount, as opposed to seeing how suitable the person is with respect to personality and life goals and ambitions.” According to Psychology Today, people have the tendency to fill in the information gaps with flattering details when looking for mates online, while making themselves appear as desirable as possible, even if that means exaggerating their positive traits.
Adeela*, 22, has tried Minder and Tinder in her quest for “an open-minded brown guy who adheres to the same moral standards,” which, to her, means a guy who does not drink or do drugs, and of whom her parents would approve.
” Twenty-one-year-old Rabia* agrees: “I want control over picking who I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.” This love connection (or lack thereof) among Muslims is more common than you might think.
The Muslim population is growing faster than any other religious group in the country (in 2011 it hit the one million mark), and for Muslims looking to partner up with others who meet their criteria, swiping right on the most popular dating apps is not an option.